“Don’t you dare bring any blokes home! And no work for you!”— declared the ex-husband with a flourish.
You don’t often hear someone say something nice about their former partner, but I’m not one to complain,” begins her tale of woe, Emily, a 40-year-old from Leeds. “It was certainly a tough time when he left for a younger model, leaving me with a baby. At that moment, it felt like the whole world had collapsed. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep; I just stared at my son and wondered why this had to happen to us. But we made it through. To give him credit, he hasn’t turned his back on the little one. He’s helped out, stayed interested, and provided for us. Not everyone would do that.
Emily’s son, Oliver, is now ten. He’s a clever lad, a pride of his school, involved in football, and has an English tutor on the side. Over the years, Emily has never worked a day. She thought about it, but her ex made it perfectly clear, “No need for that. Stay at home and take care of Oliver. I’ll make sure you’re sorted.” And to his word, he’s kept his promise.
“To be honest, I was quite pleased about it. I adore being at home—everything’s in order, comfortable, and controlled. I don’t rush around in morning traffic or have to deal with a boss. Plus, Oliver’s safe and sound. My ex covers all our expenses—food, clothes, after-school clubs, even holidays twice a year—it’s all on him,” Emily explains.
They live in his flat—well, technically it’s his. But Emily isn’t just lounging around. She’s been saving a little here and there, creating a rainy day fund. She says if push comes to shove, she’ll have enough for a year of comfortable living. Admittedly, after ten years, the amount isn’t grand, but it’s something.
“He’s only asked one thing: That I don’t bring any gentlemen home. He thinks I should sort my love life elsewhere, just not in front of Oliver. And I totally agree. I’m not keen on introducing some random bloke to my child and saying, ‘Look, here’s your new stepdad.’ Honestly, I’m not even contemplating new relationships just now. I quite enjoy the peace.
It’s not like there’s a queue of suitors waiting either. Sure, I’ve kept myself looking nice, but who’s interested in a 40-year-old woman with a child? Everyone’s terrified of commitment. And honestly, I’ve grown fond of my independence—I reckon I’ll keep things as they are.
But her younger sister, Sarah, has a very different viewpoint:
“You need to build a career! Why are you sitting on your ex’s generosity? Today, he pays the bills, but what about tomorrow? Once Oliver grows up, what’s your plan? Living without money, without a home, without a purpose? Don’t you realise this could end any day?”
“Who else am I meant to rely on?” Emily retorts calmly. “If I start working, does that mean I’m guaranteed security? They can let you go anytime. One day, you’re the expert, and the next, you’re surplus to requirements.”
“Rely on yourself, Em. Learn to earn your keep, so no one can dictate whether you can live in this flat, if you can have a love life, or if you can buy new trainers for your son. I just can’t fathom how you can be so dependent on someone who has already let you down once.”
“Well, if it ever gets desperate, I’ll look for a job. But why bother right now? You’ve worked twenty years with no days off, and you could still end up having nothing. So let’s not go down that road; I’ve made my choice.”
“And I’m telling you, one day you’ll wake up, and your ex will stop payment. He’ll go, ‘Oliver’s grown up now—sort yourselves out.’ Then what? You’ll be a middle-aged woman with no experience, no profession, and no way to change your situation.”
“Sarah, I’m nowhere near being a crone. The city is always in need of cleaners. I’m not likely to starve. I’m not one to drown in tears over spilled milk.”
Deep down, Emily thinks her sister is just a tad envious. Sarah has two children, a mortgage, endless shifts, and a perpetual cash crunch. She hasn’t seen the seaside in ten years! Meanwhile, Emily’s living the good life, with minimal stress, taking Oliver on holidays, and providing for him. What’s wrong with that?
But lately, worry has crept into her mind. What if Sarah’s right? What if everything really could end in a heartbeat? Would she be able to cope? Find work? Get back on her feet?
Today, she feels she can manage. But what tomorrow holds, only time will tell.